Ask Me No Questions
by Keeper of Tomes
Summary: What starts off as an innocent dare...spirals into a rib breaking, tear streaming, ride of your life. If you ever wondered what the Dark Ace wears underneath all that armor, this is the drabble fic for you. Moved from "Believe".
1. Who Wants To Ask?

"I'll bet you my dessert it's a large."

"You sure about that?"

"Positive."

"I wouldn't, if I were you..."

"What makes you so certain?"

"I just am," Finn said, rather smugly.

Piper grinned. "You are SO going to lose."

Aerrow merely leaned back and sighed. "Which one of you wants to ask him?"

No one replied. They hadn't thought of that...

"Ask who what?" Stork had just entered the room.

Piper flashed a wicked smile. "We were wondering...what size underwear Dark Ace wears."

"Oh, really?" Stork asked, before rolling his eyes and trotting away.

Kids these days...

OOO

A/N: I blame YOU for this, Ambrel, I really do.

You've gone and jolted me right back into "Underwear Mode". I'll probably start giggling halfway through my Spanish test tomorrow with some new evil idea jumping into my head...


	2. We'll Ask With A Letter

"Maybe we should write him a letter," Aerrow suggested.

"Seriously, we should. Just don't sign it." Finn grinned.

"Guys, that's going a bit far, isn't it?" Piper leaned forward, her face looking anxious.

"C'mon. He'll never find out who sent it," Finn said.

"Well...when you put it that way..." Piper pulled out a paper and pencil. "How should we start it?"

"'Dear Mr. Dark Ace:I am a twenty five year old HOT Cyclonian babe...'" Finn began.

"'...that was wondering...'" Aerrow continued.

"'...the size...'"

"'...of your...'"

Here, they paused and glanced at Piper. Aerrow cleared his throat.

"How do we word this...subtly?"

She tapped the pencil against the table for a few moments, before breaking into a grin. "Undies. Definitely undies."

The boys had to agree.

It was PERFECT.


	3. Who is Doing the Asking?

"Letter for you," the Talon grunted.

"Hmph."

He took the crumpled envelope and opened it, retreating into his room.

A girl's handwriting.

Huh?

He muttered the letter to himself under his breath.

"'Dear Mr. Dark Ace...' Where in the WORLD did this come from?"

A return address, but it was unfamiliar to him.

He reread the letter.

Well, he had to admit, it was rather...intriguing. He'd never met a more honest female...

At least it made mail days more interesting.

He sat down and thought it over for a moment...

Before pulling out a blank sheet of paper and a pen.

OOO

A/N: THIS is going to be hilarious. I can feel it.


	4. The Asking Isn't Over

"You guys are NOT going to believe it." Piper waved the letter around, laughing.

"He responded?!" Aerrow barked in disbelief.

Piper could only nod.

"Look at what he said," she giggled, handing the paper over.

"'To whoever you are: For your information...' Moment of truth," Aerrow said, grinning.

"Just hurry it up already," Finn sighed, impatient as to see who won the bet.

"OK, OK...'I wear medium.' Medium?"

"Medium? I don't think either of us guessed MEDIUM." Finn raised an eyebrow.

Suddenly, another mischievous grin spread across Piper's face. "Let's send another one BACK."

"Pen pals? With the Dark Ace?" Aerrow sat down. "I dunno..."

"It'll be fun. You never know...we might get some dirt on him."

Aerrow smirked, before rubbing his hands together. "Guys...commence Operation D.U.R.T."

"What's that?"

"Operation Dig Up Ratty Tales. This'll be hilarious."

Piper readied her pen and paper. "What's our next letter going to be?" she asked, with a smile.

OOO

A/N: Maybe I should make this a hole new drabble series all together...

Man, it's fun!

And it's not over yet...


	5. The Next Question to Ask

Piper leaned back with satisfaction and smiled at the guys.

"What do you think of this? OK...'Dear Mr. Dark Ace: I'm not satisfied with your reply. I'm wondering...what KIND of underwear do you possess? It would be a great honor if you wrote back again. This time, I'm enclosing a picture of myself.'"

"We are?" Finn asked.

"We are indeed." Aerrow held up a flimsy photograph of a girl.

"Who is THAT?" Piper asked, her eyes flaring up a bit.

"Is somebody jealous?" Finn whispered. She glared at him.

"Oh, just something I found in a magazine. Hopefully, Dark Ace doesn't read Sky Knight Weekly," Aerrow replied with a smirk.

"OK...Just stick it in the envelope..." Piper licked the stamp and pressed it into place.

"And now we wait," Finn said with a grin.


	6. The Answer to Your Asking

Dark Ace's eyebrows widened in shock when he saw the latest response.

"What kind of question is THAT!?"

Still...

She looked pretty hot...

He shrugged; what harm could it do?

It wasn't like Cyclonis or anyone else he knew would see his response...

So he set the letter aside and opened his bedroom drawer.

"Let's see..."

And he started to rummage through his...

Intimate apparel.


	7. The Asking Doesn't End!

Aerrow held the letter high above reach, Piper and Finn clamoring for it as he waded through the scrap metal lying around the hanger bay.

"Nuh uh uh..." He smirked.

"Tell us, NOW. I bet a week's worth of chores on what's in that baby," Finn barked.

"Seriously. Let us have a look!" Piper danced around.

"You look like you need to use the bathroom. Both of you." Aerrow cleared his throat and eyed the letter. "OK, he even made a list...All neat and stuff...'For your information, the contents of my undergarment drawer are: three pairs of briefs, multiple boxers, and one pair of'...Holy Guacamole..."

"What? What?" Finn leaned forward.

"'Jockey shorts.' Who in God's creation wears jockey shorts?"

"I do," Finn said, rather nonchalantly.

"You do?" Piper snorted. "And Dark Ace has a underwear drawer." She paused for a moment. "That's kinda hot."

OOO

A/N: Ambrel, I borrowed your line.

And this is getting a bit out of hand, I know, but it's so funny. I think I'll move it into a whole new fic.

Yes...It'll be called "Ask No Questions". OK, look for it!


	8. The Asking Escalates

"HA HA HA!"

"What's so damn funny?"

"I just had the craziest idea-"

"No, no, no, not another one."

"What COLOR?"

"Well..."

"I say they're red."

"Red?"

"Green, then."

"Yah, navy green."

"You two," Aerrow peered over his book at his friends. "Shut up."

"Fine. We'll write instead." Piper winked at her commander.

"Whatever," he muttered, turning back to his book, but he wore a grin on his face.


	9. The Asking Lives On

"What COLOR, eh?" He flashed a grin.

The latest letter was awfully suggestive...

Dark Ace slipped his reply, plus an extra surprise, into a manila envelope, before reaching under his desk and pulling out a stamp.

"This is going to be fun."

He watched with a smirk as the letter was taken away to the boon docks.

Hopefully...

She'd like his present.


	10. The Asking Gets Weird

"STORK!"

"What?"

"Has the mail come, yet?"

"Actually, yes, it has. Why the rush?" The Merb eyed his friends suspiciously.

Aerrow leaned against the wall and flashed a knowing smile. "We're waiting for a reply to one of our letters. Can I have a look at the mail bag?"

"Whatever." Stork handed the large bag over. Aerrow dug through it, magazines and junk mail flying across the bridge. Piper and Finn stood behind him, waiting anxiously.

"YES!" He held up a manila envelope. "Wait a sec...It's rather...spongy."

"Spongy?"

"Well, it's soft."

"Here, gimme." Finn took it and opened the flap. "OH MY GOD!!"

"What?"

"Told you they were red." The blond stuck his hand into the envelope and took out...

A pair of red boxers.

Piper grimaced, but her frown soon turned into a grin.

"We should totally frame that buster."

OOO

A/N: Dark Ace, you naughty boy...


	11. A Pause in the Asking

"No, no, no, no. We shouldn't frame it," Aerrow said, with a wicked grin.

Piper clasped her hand over her heart with a dramatic flair. "Yes, you are right, Aerrow. Such a treasure mustn't be kept behind meager glass and flimsy wood."

"Yes," Aerrow said, mimicking her sarcasm. "We must show the world our prize..."

"What," Finn muttered, "has gotten into you two?"

"So...?"

"What DO we do with it?"

The two of them eyed each other, rather blankly, before breaking into giggles.

"What? What?" Finn barked.

"Banner," the two of them chorused.

Finn paused for a second.

"I like it!" And he struck a chicka-cha pose.

OOO

A/N: Thanks for the idea, Ambrel...

HA! You totally deserved that, Dark Ace.


	12. The Reward to Our Asking!

"ALARMS!"

Red light spiraled across the bulbs that peppered the Condor. Talon skimmers swooped across the otherwise blemish free sky.

"Aerrow, it's the Dark Ace!" Piper shouted. "Get the...the..."

"The Prize?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, get it!"

Aerrow ran to his room and grabbed the red cloth. Piper and Finn met him at the hanger bay.

"Now, how should we do this?"

"I say we tie it to the Condor."

"Nah, to easy of a target."

"Alright, then we'll tie it to one of the skimmers."

"Rock paper scissors on who gets to wear it!"

Piper, Finn, and Aerrow clustered around each other.

"On three...One, two, three. Aw, man..."

"YES!" Piper grabbed the boxers and fastened them firmly to her ride.

"Storm Hawks, let's fly!"

"Boy, is he gonna be surprised," Piper laughed.


	13. Don't Ask

Dark Ace sat confidently on the seat of his skimmer, diving towards the Condor.

Suddenly, a streak of red tore past him.

"What the...? Is that what I think it is?"

There, tied to the girl's craft, was a pair of boxers...and they looked awfully familiar.

"HEY!" She was shouting at him. "RECOGNIZE THESE?"

"Damn it," he muttered. Somehow, they'd gotten hold of that envelope.

How could he be so stupid?

He had to get it back.

He streaked after her.

"Hey! Where in the world did you get that?!"

"We've got our sources," she answered with a laugh.

After a few fruitless attempts, he finally managed to catch up with her.

"Aerrow, coming your way!" She unfastened the fabric and tossed it over to her commander.

So, they wanted to play keep away, huh?

He flew after the boy.

This time...no mercy.


	14. The Asking Gets BORING

"Is it just me, or is this getting old?"

"Yeah...kind of."

Finn and Aerrow flew side by side, watching Dark Ace do a few corkscrews in an effort to retrieve his...

Private garments.

Finn yawned.

"You know...They say in order to figure out your attention span, you take your age and add three."

"Really? That'd make our attention spans..."

"Seventeen minutes."

"How long's it been?"

Aerrow glanced at his watch. "'Bout an hour."

"Think he's squirmed long enough?"

"Yeah...Hey, Dark Ace!"

Said Talon commander let out a roar of frustration.

"You want it? Go get it." Aerrow let go and the red "banner" fluttered towards terra. Dark Ace flew after it, Talons diving after him in utter confusion. Piper drew up next to the guys.

"C'mon. Let's go home..."


	15. Who Should We Ask NEXT?

The gang sat around the table, listening to the banging of tools coming from the hanger bay.

Piper stared blankly into space, chewing on her lip.

Aerrow crossed his legs and bit off a hangnail.

Finn tapped annoyingly on the metal with his thumb.

"Stop that," Aerrow snapped.

"Whatever..."

"What if we...? No, that won't work."

Aerrow sighed. "Any other prank we play is a major LET DOWN after this."

"I KNOW!" Finn exclaimed, throwing his arms up in exasperation.

Suddenly, Piper started giggling, then laughing, then shrieking like a maniac. She fell out of her chair and landed on the floor with a thump.

"What? What is it?" Aerrow asked, helping her up.

"What if we...ha...ask...ha ha ha...Cyclonis...ha ha...what kind of bra she wears?" Piper laughed.

The boys exchanged an apprehensive glance.

"Bras?"

"Cyclonis?"

They grinned. "Let's DO IT."

OOO

A/N: That's the end of this one, but if you want me to write a sequel...let me know. It's been fun, guys, really.


End file.
